So Susan at Adventures at Seay nominated me for this lovely Kreative Blogger award -
Susan married an old friend of mine, Ryan, and they have the most adorable baby, Cooper. He would be Lilli's boyfriend if we lived closer, I'm sure of it. I love reading your updates, Susan!
Ok here are the rules :
Copy the award to your blog. Insert a link to the person who nominated you. Tell us seven things about yourself that you haven't told us before. Nominate seven other bloggers for the award. Link to their blogs. Tell the nominees about their award.
I'm always up for something like this, so here are my 7 things-
1. I am afraid of being under water. I love being in a pool, and enjoy swimming, but have a strange fear of aquariums and high water on roads. It all started with a horrible snorkeling experience that I won't even explain because it will give me the willies.
2. When I was pregnant I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, a "serious disorder affecting 1% of all pregnant women. It is basically very severe form of morning sickness characterized by extreme, unrelenting nausea, dehydration, and vomiting during pregnancy, and sometimes leading to hospitalization." I was hospitalized twice and basically couldn't function for the first 26 weeks of pregnancy. It was absolutely horrible and makes me scared to get pregnant again.
3. I experienced an ectopic pregnancy/miscarriage before getting pregnant with Lillian. My doctor told me to wait 3 months before trying again, but I read that women can be very fertile after a m/c. Apparently that was true, because I got pregnant the following month! I knew I was pregnant (both times) before my positive test because I had very early, strong symptoms.
4. I cannot stand to open salt containers (the metal spout.) The sound makes me want to vomit my lunch. I make Jason do it.
5. I am dreaming to build a house. I look at house plans in most of my spare time, even though we have no plans to build soon. I love watching houses being built in my subdivision and hearing about all things related to building. I made Jason go to the Home and Garden Show with me this spring...hehe.
6. Jason and I knew we would get married within a week or two of dating. We started looking at engagement rings (secretly) after one month. It was obvious very early one that we were meant to be together. On our 2nd date we went to the lake and I saw "Amber Perry" written on the rock quarry and I told him that would be my name someday! I took a picture of it and still have it.
7. Jason's Granny and my Granny have been close friends for over 50 years, even though we didn't know each other. His 1st cousin is my 2nd cousin, even though we aren't related. Don't worry, we checked. Small world we live in!
It has been a while since I have blogged - life has been busy!
Mother's Day-
This was not my first Mother's Day, but last year I was deep in the newborn days - middle of the night feedings, long days alone at home, and nursing struggles. I am pretty sure when this picture was taken I hadn't washed my hair for a few days!
This year, I really felt like a Mom for the first time. Maybe it is because I have had experienced motherhood for over a year now. Or maybe it is because L just started saying "Mama" with purpose, so I get to hear it now and again. Either way, the holiday was a special one, indeed.
When I was reading other bloggers tell about their Mother's day, I was trying to think what to write in my own blog. I finally decided I would make a list...being the list person I am!
My favorite things about being a mother (in no particular order):
1. Going in to get her out of her crib in the morning. She is so happy to see me, but what she doesn't know is that I am even more happy to see her. I love her sleepy eyes and bed head!
2. Seeing those little hands reach up for me to pick her up. Even when I am busy and can't hold her, knowing that she wants me to warms my heart.
3. Taking her out and about and hearing compliments - makes a Mommy proud!
4. Knowing that she needs ME, and no one else will do. She doesn't do it much, but every once in a while she will cry just for her Mommy.
5. Our days nursing, feeling her skin on my skin and watching her sweet little mouth. I think of those days often, and remember the good parts. What a beautiful time for us to bond as Mommy and baby.
6. Her open arms, walking to me to give me a hug, then seeing her flutter away to play with her toys.
7. Saying goodnight - Daddy reads her a book and then I give her kisses. Such a blessed time each day, when I can reflect on how lucky we are to have her in our lives.
8. Thinking about her future, and what it may hold - and sometimes tearing up thinking about giving her away.
9. Praying for her, that she will grow up to be a beautiful Christian woman
10. Tickling her and hearing that precious giggle (and sometimes a snort or two!)
I could go on and on, but these are what came to my head. Lillian Brooke, you are my everything. My heart outside of my body. My honey bunny who loves her Daddy. My precious princess who is going to rule the world someday. It won't be a stretch, as you already rule our house!
My mom made our matching dresses for church on Sunday. Lilli didn't want to slow down for a picture!
I can't end this post without telling about my own mother. She is truly my best friend, aside from Jason. I pray that Lilli and I have the relationship that her Nana and I share. I tell her everything. I seek her advice. I trust her instincts, even when I don't trust my own. I love seeing her with Lilli. I am so thankful to have a mom that is selfless, creative (see above!) and so caring. She constantly puts others before herself, for which I am very thankful. Example - this weekend, she watched Lilli so Jason and I could plant flowers -
I know that she probably wanted to be at HER house, planting flowers in her own backyard, but instead she stayed at my house to watch my daughter, loving every minute of it. Because of her, the transition back to work as a teacher has been so much easier on our entire family. I don't have to worry about Lilli's care, and I can enjoy working outside of our home because I know that Lilli is growing up very close to her Nana.
Lilli LOVES her Nana -
And so do I!
I also wanted to mention my Granny. Since becoming a mother, I have gained more appreciation for my own mother and grandmother. My Granny and I have grown closer than ever before. Many afternoons we have spent chatting on the phone, talking about the mundane things that she loves to hear. We discuss Lilli, she tells me stories of raising her boys. She loves me and she especially loves her Lilli. What a Godly woman she is and a wonderful role model for me.
Jason's mother is in Heaven, but I wanted to mention her, as well. We visited her gravesite on Saturday, taking her some flowers. I know that yesterday is a bittersweet day for some of you, those that have lost mothers or those that have lost children. My heart is with you. We want Lilli to know that she has a "Nandi" in Heaven that is always watching over her!
Jason's Granny Margaret has lost all 4 of her children, so Mother's Day must be especially tough. We visited her on Sunday and Jason took her a corsage to wear to lunch. She is a remarkable lady - one of strength that I could never match. God bless her!
To all the mommies out there - regardless if your children are here, in your bellies, or in Heaven, thank you!
To Jason - I can't wait to celebrate you as a father. Thank you for making my Mother's Day so special. I love you!
On Saturday Jason and I participated in the Harvey 5k Run/Walk. It was our very first race and we were really excited about it! The weather was absolutely beautiful - not too hot, not too cold! The first half of the race (as I was going DOWN the huge hill) all I could think of was how awesome it was that I accomplished my goal of running a 5k. However, running UP the hill on the way back I was singing a different tune, hehe!
I had a goal to beat 35 minutes, which I had never done during training. I was proud when I finished in 34:21! It was slow, yes, but I never walked! Jason made his goal, as well. He did so well - 2nd in his division only to the race winner.
My favorite part of the race was when Jason and I met (it was a run there-and-back type of race) and we high-fived. Cheesy, yes, but it was a great feeling. We started running in January and doing it together is the only thing that kept both of us motivated. So often we both wanted to quit, but we never did. Now we are planning for another race in a few weeks!
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” — Confucius
I cannot believe Lilli turned one last week!! She amazed us by walking the day before her birthday and has not slowed down since! She is so much fun!
We had a beautiful party with all of Lilli's family. I am so blessed that everyone was able to come out and celebrate with us! We had over 30 people - but as always, I ordered way too much food! Oh well, we are enjoying the leftovers!
Jason and I did most of the work ourselves...including the decorations. If you have any questions about where I got the supplies or ideas, feel free to leave a comment!
Now I will let the pictures do the talking, because I know that is what you really want to see!
Beautiful spring day -in the 70s and sunny! We are lucky to have a back porch and flat yard to have the party.
Her tulle covered princess high chair
The birthday girl! Mom made the tutu and her onesie, which says "It's My Birthday" that I designed to match her invitations
Auntie Ash made it in from Chicago!
Notice her bow - go big or go home, I say.
Inside my kitchen, the cupcake table -
I went with Walmart cupcakes because the icing is divine. I have eaten way too many at this point!
I used cupcake toppers and fondant candy pieces, both from Etsy.
Treat bags, which I need to get a better picture of! They included lots of candy and even cupcake shaped crayons.
The banner came from Etsy, but Jason put it together for me. (Same etsy seller made the invites, cupcake toppers, goodie bag tags and banner)
You can sort of see it in this picture, but I created a slideshow of her pictures from her first year and had it playing in the background.
Lilli loved playing wtih the bows while I opened her gifts!
Back outside, she loved waving to the crowd -
Me and my mommy-
My mom and dad
Her very own "smash cake"
Make a wish!
She very much enjoyed eating (and playing in) the icing!
Love her piggies!
The hubby and I
Getting some Lilli love!
My Granny and her granddaughters
Lilli and her cousins - I just love her face and hands and feet in this one!
L and her great-grandparents
Family photo!
Auntie and Nana, so proud!
Mom made her bloomers - they said "Party Animal" She walked around and showed them off
Lilli and her "Aunt" Lindsay - my photographer for the evening
All her gifts - thank you everyone!!
It was a perfect first birthday party and I know Lilli had a blast. I cannot believe her first year has come and gone...what a wonderful year it has been!
I can't believe it! My baby is now a TODDLER! She no longer takes a bottle and now she is walking. Crazy!!
At 3:19 PM Jason and I sang "Happy Birthday" to sweet Lilli. She giggled, I teared up! She makes my life complete and now I understand what true, never ending love feels like.
Every month I take her picture and post her stats. I also include any info from that month that I want to remember. I plan to combine each monthly update along with favorite photos from that month in a book. I can't want to compile it all and look at it in book form! (I also keep a traditional baby book...because I love those, as well!)
At 12 months, Lilli:
*weighs 19lb 12oz (around 40%ile)
*is about 30 inches long (90%ile) - hard to measure so I'll wait until the nurse does it to put it in her real book!
*Sleeps 12ish hours at night...goes to bed around 8:30
*Puts herself to sleep consistently. Uses paci and lovey bunny, as well as her soother
*Naps 2 times a day. Usually about 3 hours total. Does fine with one big nap, but we usually put her to bed a little earlier.
*Has all of her formula from sippys. She does great with a sippy, and now uses those without handles.
*Has taken all the breastmilk in my freezer, I gave her the last bag today!
*Takes Similac Soy formula. Will start adding in whole milk after we talk to the doctor.
*Eats anything and everything! She is a great eater. We call her a little beggar because she will beg at your feet for whatever you are eating until you give her some! She had a few bits of "Tater Day" food and chicken nuggets last week. We are still not giving her a ton of dairy but what she HAS tried she loves and has done well with. She had a little bit of ice cream for the first time on her birthday.
*She walked (7 steps) on April 5th to mommy! Now she is walking lots all over the house, but falls down often!
*Waved (to a complete stranger) on April 3 for the first time!
*Said "doggie" while pointing to Cooper on April 3
*Loves to "dance" and stomp her leg when music comes on
*Can climb up steps
*She does this crazy roll around thing where she practically does a flip on the floor. It is funny!
*Eyes are blue/green, hair still light brown. It is getting long and in her eyes. She won't leave a hairbow, despite my multiple attempts!
*Only 2 bottom teeth, but top 2 are about to pop through.
*Wearing size 3 Cruisers diapers.
*Shoes are size 3
*Wearing 6-12 clothes, but soon she will be in 12-18 months, especially for length.
*Loves to be outside.
*She is soo active and wiggly! She doesn't miss a beat!
*She rarely cries. We are always commenting on how "good" she is when we are out and about!
Saturday is her 1st birthday party. We have invited all our families and expect over 30 people. The forcast says beautiful ,so we hope to be outside. I'll post lots of pictures on Sunday I'm sure!
In honor of her birthday, I wanted to repost this. I have some friends reading this blog who are about to give birth...so hopefully this won't scare you but just give you a glimpse of what labor and delivery could be like!
It started on Tuesday, April 7th at my 39 week checkup. I was 39 weeks and 2 days. I went in knowing I would be talking about induction, as the past few weeks had been pretty hard on my body, with high blood pressure, LOTS of swelling, and even protein in my urine. I even told my mom (who drove me to the appt) that I wanted to eat lunch with her at Back Yard Burgers because I thought it might be our last lunch just her and I. And I was right!
Jason met us at the doctors office. At the appointment we checked the fluid and weight of baby Peep on the ultrasound. My fluid level was a 6 and baby was estimated to be 8 lbs 4 oz. This scared me a little! When we were able to talk to the doctor he said he was concerned about the lowish fluid level (I think he said a 4 was considered dangerous and an 8 was considered normal so it was right in between.) He was also worried about my swelling/bp/protein and didn’t want me to go any longer. In fact, I had gained 8 lbs in 4 days! So as much as I didn’t want an induction, we knew it was the best thing. He hated to suggest it because he knew its not what we wanted, but he wanted to do what was best for baby girl. As did we.
Just hearing that I was going to be induced made me want to throw up. I was so nervous!! We went ahead and checked into labor and delivery around 3 PM. I was so frazzled I gave Jason’s super old cell phone number (from when we were dating!) that I cant even tell you if you asked me for it now! I got changed and into my gown and the nurse came in to get all my info. She said they would start the cervidil and allow it to work overnight, since I was only 1 cm dilated and just “soft” (whatever that meant.) My doctor said that cervidil could put me into labor but that was very rare and that he would see me in the morning to start the pitocin.
After they inserted the cervidil I had to lay on my side for a few hours without moving. That sucked! Jason, my mom and my dad were all with me though to keep me company. We were all nervous and excited at the same time. I just couldn’t believe I would be meeting my baby girl in about 24 hours!
That night seemed to go by very quickly and very slowly at the same time. My parents stayed for awhile and my aunt and uncle came by. While they were there I started having contractions. They were bearable and I was able to talk through them. However, once they left around 8 PM I started to really feel the contractions. They started getting harder and faster, to the point that I was in pretty bad pain. I don’t remember much, other than that I wanted hard candy and immediately spit it out once Jason gave it to me! I also wanted him to get me a honey bun from the vending machine and as soon as he came back I told him I didn’t want it! The nurse was afraid I would get sick by eating it. Sometime around midnight the labor started to get VERY intense. I don’t know if it was the cervidil or if I was coincidently going into labor on my own, but it was miserable. I wanted to crawl out of my skin! I tried walking around, I tried moving, nothing helped. When the nurse came to check my cervix I about lost my mind. It was the worst pain I had ever felt or could imagine feeling! I was still around 1 cm dilated. The contractions were coming so fast and furious that finally I asked for pain medicine. I don’t remember how long they lasted but there was no time in between them for me to rest. I would look at the monitor and think the peak had come but it would continue getting higher and higher! I had originally wanted NOTHING to do with pain medicine, but I always said I would change my plan if I was induced. So once I got that cervidil my plans changed! They gave me Stadol, which I had heard was horrible, but I LOVED it! It was a pretty good trip I was on the first round of Stadol, but by the 3rd round the contractions were just too hard for it to have any effect. Jason was such a great labor coach, he was trying to help me breath and rubbing me to help me get through the pain. However, around 3 AM (I think I was only dilated 4 cm) they gave me an epidural. The thing I was so terrified of was a piece of cake! I loved it! I guess I slept some because I don’t remember much else from those wee hours of the morning.
Throughout the contractions, baby Peep’s heart rate did get lower. Nothing horrible, but apparently it was stressed enough that my doctor wanted to slow my labor down. The contractions were continuous and she must not have had time to recover between them. I still to this day don’t understand what happened. I was too out of it to question anything. They gave me Terbutaline, and everything changed after that. The medicine gave me horrible shakes. I was 4 cm when they administered it around 4 AM. Doctor came and broke my water around 7 AM and nothing changed. They gave me pitocin an hour later, nothing changed. I stayed at 4 cm for the rest of the day. It was horrible. They kept checking me and checking me, no change. The contractions were apparently strong (I couldn’t feel them until my epidural wore off…OUCH! Thankfully they gave me more medicine after I about lost my mind and killed the anesthesiologist who was no where around! Apparently I went without medicine for a while…the anesthesiologist was shocked that no one had given me more medicine. Whatever.)
Several times Peep’s heart rate would decline and about 8 nurses would run in and move me around and give me oxygen. This was the scariest thing I have ever been through. I would look at Jason and he would assure me that everything was ok, although I knew he was just saying that to calm me down. At one point they put a monitor in her scalp to get a better reading. I was just so scared and nervous and ready for all this to be over.
I have to mention that we had a nursing student with us the entire day. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about students learning and I understand they have to do that on the job. However, she drove us INSANE! She was asking me all these silly questions that I did not have time for (like, did I take any prenatal vitamins…did I get morning sickness…did I plan to breastfeed, etc) and she kept getting in Jason’s way when he would try to coach me. I was so glad when she left! (However…she did reappear once while we were in the postpartum room a few days later!)
Around 3 PM my doc came in to check me – again, only 4 cm. It was at this time that he said we needed to get her out. He said he could let me continue to labor for 12 more hours or so (I had been in that room for 24 hours at this point), but he knew it would end in a c-section. Something was causing her to be in distress. The nurses could feel her head and couldn’t believe she was so low and I wasn’t dilating further. Nothing was making sense. My doc didn’t want to increase the pitocin any more because it obviously wasn’t working. My body was NOT ready to have this baby, but this baby needed to be born.
So around 3 PM we said ok to the c-section. The nurse told me things would go quickly and it was all a blur at that point. One thing that I remember was that Jason said a special prayer for us and the baby before we left the labor room. We both cried…tears of nervousness, and tears of joy. They wheeled me in the operating room and Jason suited up. I was all alone and very scared. I kept asking for Jason and they told me he would be in soon, but I was still nervous. Thankfully I already had the epidural so they just gave me more medicine there. My doctor joked that if anyone would puke during the procedure it would be me…I tried to laugh but I was out of it. Finally they allowed Jason in, after they made sure I was good and numb. I remember holding his hand and feeling some tugging, and then she was out! It took longer than I thought it would, I guess he was taking his time. Jason stood up to see her (something he regrets, as there was a lot of blood!) She was born at 3:19 PM
She cried out immediately (thank goodness!) and they all commented on how big she was. Turns out she was sunny side up and pretty much stuck in the birth canal. She had a severe cone head, which was why the cervix was low. It was deforming her head and pushing my cervix down, but she was not descending like she was supposed to. They took her to get cleaned up and Jason left me to be with her. It was then that I really got scared. I could hear them talking about sewing me up and such and I was so alone and frightened. I started to feel sick and thankfully the anesthesiologist was right there when I needed to puke (of course I did!) The anesthesiologist that I had hated so much (because my medicine ran out earlier in the day) was the sweetest lady and was so good throughout the procedure. I do remember thinking how horrible it was and that I never wanted to go through this again. I wanted to be with Jason and my baby girl and I had no idea where they were.
Jason tells me now that he brought our daughter, Lillian Brooke, to see me while I was still on the table. He said I was emotionless and didn’t say anything but “I’m too tired.” I just had a blank look on my face. He said it terrified him. I was just out of it, and I don’t even remember this.
They told me she was 7lb 11 oz and 19.25 inches long.
Everyone in the room commented on how beautiful she was. I hated being tied down and unable to see her. I remember asking how much longer and they telling me not much. I just wanted to be with Jason and Lilli again, it was a sad, lonely feeling being on that table.
In the recovery room I was all alone until Jason came in and showed me pictures on our camera of Lilli. I immediately thought she looked like me. I was shaking uncontrollably and overall miserable, but I was already so in love. I’m crying now as I type this just thinking about it.
My mom was finally able to come sit with me in the recovery room while Jason was with the baby. I was still shaking so badly. Finally, Jason brought Lilli in to see me. It was heaven. She was so precious. I couldn’t hold her at first but somehow we were able to breastfeed. Jason told me later that he was holding her, his back about to break! She latched on easily and perfectly and it was then that I stopped shaking. Having her near me, on my breast, was the ONLY thing that helped me recover. I’m so thankful for that time to be with her. It was a moment I will always cherish.
Soon after, Jason left again and I was with my mom, the nurse, and finally my doctor. I don’t remember much of what he said, but he did mention that she was sunny side up and had I gone into a vaginal delivery it would have been VERY tough on me and her. He was glad we made the decision to operate and he said the next baby could be born vaginally because it was nothing wrong with my body. I made a joke to him about it being his birthday present (it was his birthday that day, too!) because I knew he loved to operate. He hated it that I had to have a c-section, because he knew how badly I wanted to avoid it. I was glad to have the chance to talk to him, even though I barely remember it!
While I was in the recovery room, Jason was finally able to introduce our daughter to our friends and family. This is the moment he had been waiting for, the reason we had kept her name a secret. Thankfully my brother-in-law captured it on video! It was a precious moment for him and our family and friends. It felt so great to finally be able to share her name with the world!
From there I was wheeled to the postpartum room where I finally met up with Jason and Lilli. I actually got to see him in the nursery with her, and he was talking to her in her little bassinet. It was adorable.
I was so out of it, I don’t remember much at all from then on. Due to the c-section I was stuck in the bed while Jason held, changed and took care of our daughter. This was very hard for me to go through. Although we were breastfeeding, it was painful and difficult to get in a good position. So doing that was very hard for me.
Thursday and Friday were hard. I was in pain and couldn’t move much. Taking that first shower was not only painful, but I thought my insides were going to fall out! I hated losing my catheter because that meant I had to get up to pee and it hurt so badly! Of course I tried to move and walk as much as possible, as I heard that helps with recovery. I also asked for a support belt, which was the best thing in the world! I loved that belly binder! But it was miserable not being able to take care of my daughter. That was the hardest part of all. My blood count was low on Thursday morning so I had to keep the IV in, which I HATED. I hate IV’s! I was able to eat and my favorite meal was a ham and cheese sandwich!
I did get a little depressed on Friday because Jason was getting to bond with Lilli and I wasn’t. Although I have been a little weepy and emotional since, it was that day that was the worst as far as my emotions. I hated that I resented Jason for being able to hold our daughter, but I did. I have since told him about this and I know it was just my hormones and everything I had been through, but it was still a very weird feeling for me.
As for Lilli, she stayed in the room with us most of the time. Actually, we kept her in the room with us all night Wednesday and Thursday. It was only Friday night that a mean nurse came and took her and told us we couldn’t fall asleep and keep the baby in the room with us (no one told us that before, we had no idea.) I still think this is hilarious – what were we going to do when we took her home? Never sleep!? Anyway, the nurses in the nursery called her the “Hoover” because she loved to suck so much. That’s probably why my nipples cracked and bled those first few days!! Overall, she was a perfect baby. She rarely cried! We thought she would cry more when she woke up more, but to this day she rarely cries.
One night a nurse came in to check on us and Jason was in a very deep sleep. She woke him by flipping on the light and he screamed “WHAT THE HELL!?” at her. Thankfully, I was awake and able to tell her that she had just scared him. (Little did she know he is prone to sudden outbursts when woken like this!) Poor nurse, she was a sweet older lady. Jason felt bad about it the rest of the stay!
We left on Saturday and by then I was moving around easier and feeling a little better.
We had lots of visitors but thankfully never too many at one time. That first day at home was hectic with people coming over and me trying to nurse, but we managed to get through it. My parents helped us take everything home, all the gifts and flowers. One funny story – Jason had ordered me a huge bouquet of yellow lilies. He wanted them to be delivered to my recovery room AFTER she was born (Keep in mind we hadn’t told anyone her name yet!) Instead, the florist sent them early and my mom came in with them! Jason about freaked, as did I. Thankfully mom didn’t catch on, but it could have ruined the surprise!
Looking back, my story is one of medical intervention after medical intervention. I know that they were all necessary at the time, and we will never know what might have been. However, it’s hard for me to think back and wonder if we made the right decisions. I am more upset about the induction than the c-section. I wanted to call Jason and have the “it’s time” moment. I just wanted to go into labor on my own and experience those feelings. I wanted to see if I could do it without pain meds. I don’t look back at a vaginal delivery and wish I had one, because I know the recovery isn’t fun or easy. But I do wish I would have had more time with my daughter in the beginning of life. However, I KNOW that I am blessed. I know that I am lucky. I know that I have the most amazing little girl in my life and I would do ANYTHING to get her. And that’s what matters.
Lilli is still sleeping, but we have a fun birthday planned today. I hope to get back on some point when she is asleep today and post her monthly update! Stay tuned!
