Chances are, you have heard me complain about Scarlett's sleep. Or lack thereof. I apologize for being a broken record about it - but exhaustion was taking over my life!
I have always loved my sleep and needed more than just 8 hours at night. Naps make me happy. I worried before I had Lilli that I would never sleep again. But - surprise! She slept! All the time. Great napper, even slept through the night once we brought her home! That's not to say she didn't wake up in the night occasionally for various reasons, but I never had true sleep deprivation. I was
pretty sure she was a great sleeper because I was a great parent. Ha... little did I know...
Enter sweet Scarlett Jean...
From birth she was a good sleeper. Just like big sis. THEN...something changed. I like to blame my pediatrician (whom I love) because he told me to wake her once at night to eat at her 2 month WBV. Big mistake. She woke once that night, twice the next, three the next, etc. At her worst she was waking 7-8 times! And each time she HAD to be nursed back to sleep, despite Jason rocking her or us trying to give her a pacifier.
I created this and I knew it. I loved breastfeeding her and she loved it, too. She wanted to nurse for food, comfort and as a pacifier to go to sleep. So I let her. But after 2.5 months of this I was barely functioning, crying alot, and feeling depressed. I knew I wasn't a good mommy to Lilli OR Scarlett and something had to change.
Thank goodness for
The Baby Whisperer. I have actually read FIVE different sleep books and this was not one of them. But, I stumbled upon this
forum and from that was able to figure out the secrets of the book. Basically, it has babies on a "schedule" (use that term loosely here) called "E.A.S.Y." Baby wakes in the morning and EATS, has ACTIVITY, then SLEEPS, while mom has some YOU time. But the point is that baby does not eat directly before sleeping. Whoops, that is what we did, all.day.long.
So starting 2 weeks ago, I tried to nurse Scarlett when she woke up from a "nap" (if you can call it that) and played with her. Then, I would put her to bed, wide awake. Eat, play, sleep. This was something I always did with Lilli but I had forgotten about it! Much to my surprise Scarlett didn't fuss much. And when she did, I would go in and pat her tummy and give her her giraffe lovey and pacifier. For some reason, she would be tired enough to take the pacifier for a second and she would fall asleep. She wouldn't sleep longer than 40 minutes, but it was a start!!
I started reading more and more of the forums and realized at Scarlett's age she could go longer between feedings. And if she did that, she wouldn't just snack or graze, instead she would actually take a FULL feeding. So, I put her on a 3.5 hour EASY schedule.
She wakes and eats soon after. I wait 2 hours and then put her down for a nap. 3.5 hours after her feeding she eats again. Rinse and repeat 4 times a day.
I couldn't believe it but she was actually taking to the schedule really well! Her naps were still short but her feedings were MUCH better, she was now taking both sides and seemed full. I knew that if she cried later it was because she was tired or overstimulated, but not hungry.
Once our days were better I started changing what happened at night. First big move - put Scarlett in her crib. I knew that each time she woke in the Pack N Play right next to my bed that it woke me and I immediately got her up. If she were in her crib, I would think more about her cries before getting out of bed. Thankfully, it was a smooth transition! She seems to like her bed. Jason and I enjoy being able to watch TV in our room again!
The first night in her crib she woke 8 times. EIGHT. But each night after that she woke less and less. Finally when she was waking about 4 times I decided that if she could go 3.5 hours between feedings during the day she could do it at night, too. Sometimes she wakes earlier and we just go in and give her the paci to buy some more time. But she doesn't eat before that time (obviously if she were screaming I would think she was hungry, but that is not what she does).
Now she is only waking 2-3 times a night. Jason gives her a bottle of milk or formula and I sleep through the first one. Then I wake around 2 to nurse her. She usually wakes around 5 and I nurse her then, too. Eventually we will drop the first feeding but I plan to wait a few more weeks before I try that, as she might do it on her own.
So nights were better in her room with less nursing, but naps were still bad. She would wake at 40 minutes on.the.dot. each time. Turns out this is completely biological - her brain is switching to a new, deeper sleep cycle and it wakes her every time. She would wake up happy so I thought she was ready to get out of the crib. WRONG. She might be happy for the moment (to see my face, hehe) but she would start fussing about an hour later. So I would think that meant she was hungry and nurse her and she would fall asleep at the breast and we would start the vicious cycle again!
Now I let her "talk" in her bed for about 10 minutes. She will eventually start to fuss, I go in and give her the lovey and paci and she falls asleep for about 40 more minutes. We might even do this a third time. Amazingly, she doesn't cry much and I know she needs more than 40 minutes now so I make sure to not get her up.
So, in just a short week of doing the Baby Whisperer's plan we are going to bed easily, only waking for feedings and taking naps that last over 1.5 hours (even though they might be in pieces.) Quite the improvement!!
But the best part - I am back to the land of the living! I feel much better. Although I would LOVE to get a stretch of sleep that was 8 hours or so, but I know that will come soon enough. For now it is nice to get 5-6. We didn't have to "cry it out" to get to this point but I feel like I know her needs more. She is on a routine and seems to be doing well with the consistency. I like knowing that she won't need to eat until "x" time and she will be sleeping at "y" time so I can plan my day accordingly.
Now, if only we could get sister to stay in her bed all night, but that is a different problem for a different day!
